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20th December 2005
f-fuck the police
"All penalties for drug users should be dropped...Making drug abuse a crime is useless and even dangerous...Every year we seize more and more drugs but the quantity available still increases...Police are losing the drug battle worldwide" :
Secretary General of Interpol 1994
A lot has happened!
I finally got better, the sickness no longer has me.
Hasn't had me for awhile now. In the meantime, I tested my stomach's strength by downing a lot of vodka.
Then I got laid twice, by two different people that night. I was the only girl in a group of seven guys so yeah, it was inevitable. I guess. We had a jolly good time round a bonfire.
Oh, and Saturday, I did Triple C's for the first time. Heh, I know, lame. But they were free. Man, I tripped hard. And I was drunk on whiskey also. I was crawling around on the floor like a crab...it was so much fun. Just walking was fun. I got fuzzy leopard print handcuffs stuck on my wrist. And I wasn't even having sex! I just put one side on, my best friend Matthew the other. We just sat chatting with everyone for awhile and he took his off and I tried my side and it was stuck! I freaked...and then 5 little 14-15 year old girls were buzzing around me each saying "I can do it, let me do it!"...nope.
So finally, Matthew drove me to the park to meet Amber, who got it off I still don't know how.
When we got back to Holiday Inn, I had to pee...I got lost in the bathroom. Ended up in the tub, leeching myself to the yellow tile wall.
Every once in awhile Matthew would come in to see if I was okay or Madison would knock on the door and say "Hey, you trippin'?" To which I would abruptly reply "Yes!"
Ah, yes. Good fun.
But no more.
I went to court last week on a drug para. charge (a 4 inch glass pipe) and I am now on probation for 12 months in which I will be randomly drug-tested by my probation officer. I have to do 32 hours of community service at Goodwill. I have to pay $289.50. I have to pay $15 for my first drug-screen. $50 for a four hour drug abuse class. Not to mention the $30 I have to pay my prob. off. each time I see him for the next year.
Geez, you'd think they want you to stay away from marijuana or something.
GODDAMN. ZERO TOLERANCE.
And that judge! That judge just pissed me the hell off. He said "This 30 day jail sentence hanging over your head should keep you away from your DRUG PROBLEM"
Just because I had a pipe he figures I have a drug problem.
Bitches. Marijuana. That's the only drug I do, 98% of the time =)
And how's it a problem? I'm waiting for the answer.
Ugh, I just get so pissed off when I think about all the money the government gets from people like me and you and whoever...and then what they do with it...sponsor black projects? I don't know. It's downright re-fucking-dick-less.
3rd December 2005
I just got out of the hospital for the fourth time. Yep. Same thing, nausea and vomiting. I get better one day and they let me leave then I'm back a day later puking my guts out. Hopefully this was the last time. I think I'll shoot myself if I have to spend another sleepness night in that...prison. Um, so I guess I'm better now. I was feeling sick this morning before I left the hospital but they said I had to leave. They simply couldn't "keep me there forever." I honestly didn't feel ready to leave. I'm supposed to eat bland foods...and take it easy. This is a bummer. :
Hmm. I'll write more later. I'm just not feeling it now.
16th November 2005
Why now, after all this time?
Because I very well please! :
Heh-heh. Well, update time! I just got out of the hospital yesterday... had a cholecystectomy the day before. Was sick a whole week up till then. Vomiting, shitting, nausea. I got skinny. Then they bloated me with gases for the surgery, heh. And my wounds feel open although they're stitched. I had laparoscopic surgery, so I only have four small cuts. Anyhow, during my sickness I was in the hospital on two different occasions. It was a sickness from hell. And I'm only 18! I didn't have gallstones. They called it "sludge." Hee. After two tests they found out what was causing the sickness.
So I don't get to get on the computer that much. My mom usually has a password on it or some crap. I have my own, but I just play games on it cuz no internet connection. No money, heh. I need to get a job. I've been lazy.
But tomorrow! Oh, tomorrow I will do so many things. I will sign up for the spring semester of college and pay a a drug para. ticket and FIND a job and walk my dog again and draw a picture and write my grandmother and get in touch with my bank and tell them I don't have a job yet and eat ramen. I'll probably be dragging Aaron around to look for a job as well. Because HE needs one. And he's had my vehicle the whole week to look for one! That good for nothing boyfriend from hell!
I watched a bunch of Curb Your Enthusiasm on his computer today. That show is funny-funny. Almost as funny as Family Guy. I watched so much TV while in the hospital. We don't have cable at home...and I never watch TV. I'd rather read anyway, yep. But I can tell it dulled my brain a lot.
I keep forgetting things.
Then again, I did have a lot of Compazine and Phenergan through the IV.Side effects of Compazine may include:
Abnormal muscle rigidity, abnormal secretion of milk, abnormal sugar in urine, abnormalities of posture and movement, agitation, anemia, appetite changes, asthma, blurred vision, breast development in males, chewing movements, constipation, convulsions, difficulty swallowing, discolored skin tone, dizziness, drooling, drowsiness, dry mouth, ejaculation problems, exaggerated reflexes, fever, fluid retention, head arched backward, headache, heart attack, heels bent back on legs, high or low blood sugar, hives, impotence, inability to urinate, increased psychotic symptoms, increased weight, infection, insomnia, intestinal obstruction, involuntary movements of arms, hands, legs, and feet, involuntary movements of face, tongue, and jaw, irregular movements, jerky movements, jitteriness, light sensitivity, low blood pressure, mask-like face, menstrual irregularities, narrowed or dilated pupils, nasal congestion, nausea, pain in the shoulder and neck area, painful muscle spasm, parkinsonism-like symptoms, persistent, painful erections, pill-rolling motion, protruding tongue, puckering of the mouth, puffing of the cheeks, rigid arms, feet, head, and muscles, rotation of eyeballs or state of fixed gaze, shock, shuffling gait, skin peeling, rash and inflammation, sore throat, mouth, and gums, spasms in back, feet and ankles, jaw, and neck, swelling and itching skin, swelling in throat, tremors, yellowed eyes and skin
I haven't dreamed lately. And now I have really vivid sexual ones!
I can't say that's a bad thing, really =)
But I do feel abnormal sometimes, and I am forgetting more than usual. Hopefully it won't last long...
I can't wait for Thanksgiving!
Oh the turkey! Oh the dressing! Oh the PIE! Oh the relatives.
I love cold weather. I like laying around, too.
But tomorrow I have to be busy. So I'm chilling now, looking for what I want to ask for for Christmas and surfing and stuff.
I want a mushroom belt buckle, and a Kermit shirt. I also want a Kyuss shirt. And a David Bowie shirt. And a Queens of the Stone Age shirt. And a bunch of socks. And a bottle of tequila.
I'm still pissed that I can't find my digtal camera ANYWHERE. Beh.
I get oral sex every day next week.
13th July 2005
It's a chore to live.
I need a damn job. I don't exactly know where to start looking... I hate this place. I hate the people, the smell. Working at a restaurant will probably make me stop eating altogether. If I could find a nice quiet office job, perhaps. A new pain clinic is opening, I could work there. I'd have to stop getting high all the time. I'd be drug-tested, of course. Pain killers! That wouldn't be enough though if I want to move out... which I do. I : have
to. Two jobs, and maybe the community college...ugh, dorms. But I might be able to get a house if things....go well, I guess.
I don't even have an idea of what I ought to be doing with myself, what classes I want to take. I do want to leave the country though, within a few years. I know that much. And my lover wants to be an herbalist, so to speak. Hmm... I should try perhaps for architecture...design. *racks brain* *goes outside for a cigarette*
My mom wants me out of the house. "Three adults are too many." Especially with our opposing views on...well, life and spirituality. Not that I've even presented my views to them. They keep things narrow, around here. Not much room for things that the church doesn't approve of. Oh well. Three adults are too many, one's a weird artist, the other die-hard Jesus worshippers. It doesn't seem to occur to them that I too, know the Bible. That I might have a better understanding of things than they do.
Anyhow, I've had a nice day so far. I met Aaron for coffee and we talked about jobs and moving in together and boring stuff and not illegal stuff because IHOP has cameras with audio recorders.
I got high, read some sci-fi and vampire erotica. Yeh.
Tattooed myself with a brown Prismacolor marker. Wishing I knew where my digital camera went. I have no idea. My dad might've stolen it, that sucks. I have pictures of my pipe on there.
I'm bored, reading Harry Potter And The Chamber of Secrets...I finished the first one yesterday. No, I never did read them. Aaron got the fifth book in The Gunslinger series...which I'm somewhat anxious to read.
I'm going to shower, again.
<3 m. anne
12th April 2005
I don't give a shit about LJ.
9th April 2005
Tonight was mostly uneventful....no events worth speaking of but alas, I will anyways. I spent an hour at Blockbuster with my 11 year old brother, Alex. We argued about games as well as videos and I finally settled on : Kill Bill: Volume 2
and the Invader Zim: Doom, Doom, Doom
because they are old things which I've yet to see all of.
I broke my once-lovely blue-green smoking pipe earlier tonight while cleaning it over the bathroom sink...it was sparkling and I glowed on the inside after it's cleaning *whack*...and the bowl has a huge hole in the bottom of it and now I'm dying on the inside.
I was going to hang out with my lover, Aaron- but he just of late got into D&D so he was playing it. Last time I actually stuck around during one of those games, I ended up drinking a lot because I was so bored. And then I puked up my pizza. It just wasn't worth it. So I stayed home tonight since he wanted to go to that and that's cool and all. But tomorrow, when he will actually want to hang out, is when all MY friends will be free. I hate and love being in a relationship.
Making green tea and coming down off my drunken-wine gaggle (I got into my parent's locked stash) and that pain-killer I took is kicking in. Lately I've just been relaxing to the extreme instead of sleeping because I find it difficult to go to sleep...
Relaxing all evening and then at about 5 or 6 in the morning, sleep for a few hours, because by then I fall asleep extremely easily and I feel refreshed after such a short nap.
I'm trying to find acid around here, but it seems nearly impossible. And the one guy who I know that does it and who I've taken it with, is...inaccessible!
I have a few friends that want to try it with me
Anyhow, I'm just sharing my evening with something.
I hate not being able to have sex for a week.